brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Randomize
