so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
