dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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