Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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