fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
