Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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