why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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