yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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