Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
