so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
