Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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