Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
