I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
