xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
