She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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