I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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