JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
should my penis look like a turkey
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Cover your peen. We're going out.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
