i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Randomize
