Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Randomize
