yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
She's the barista slut.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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