I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
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