just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Randomize
