i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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