Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
Randomize
