She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
