I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
