I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
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