they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
