She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Go christen that room with your naked body.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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