party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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