Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
and you said cock pushups were impossible
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize