idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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