apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
