is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Randomize
