You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Randomize
