Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
