that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize