Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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