high people should be assigned attendants
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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