After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I want to walk on stilts...naked
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Randomize
