Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
