he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
