Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
i am craving dick and cupcakes
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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