Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Randomize
