I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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