So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I need water and some morals
Randomize
