"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I looked at my own cervix.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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