Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
