eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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