Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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