That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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