Your face is a jimmy john
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
