just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
