On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
you told grandpa to call you daddy
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
