it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
