Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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