i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
