the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize