So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Did I show you my penis last night?
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
