I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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