I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
