Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
i am craving dick and cupcakes
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
