Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
