she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize