the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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