I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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