we have officially lost it.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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