I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
