I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
