I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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