Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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