can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I enjoy the company of your penis
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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