I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
