she smelled like a LAN party
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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